The Best Gift of the Parents are Their Babies

INTRODUCTION: THE GIFTS OF PARENTHOOD

Por: Shamir Galvá

Your child is the greatest gift you will ever receive. From the moment you first hold this miracle of life in your arms; your world will be broader and richer. You will experience a flood of feelings, some of wonder and joy and others of confusion and of  being overwhelmed and wondering whether you can ever measure up to the needs of your new baby. These are feelings you could barely imagine before—feelings that no one can truly experience without having a child.

Even describing them is difficult because the bond between parent and child is so intensely personal. Why do tears come to your eyes the first time your baby smiles or reaches for you? Why are you so proud of her first time you watch her stumble and fall? The answer lies in the unique two-way giving relationship between you and your child.

Your Child’s Gifts to You

§  Unqualified love

§  Absolute trust

§  The thrill of discovery

§  The heights of emotion

Unqualified love: From birth, you are the center of your child’s universe. He gives you his love without question and without demand. As he gets older, he will show this love in countless ways, from showering you with his first smiles to giving you his handmade valentines. His love is filled with admiration, affection, loyalty, and an intense desire to please you.

Absolute Trust: Your child believes in you. In her eyes, you are strong, capable, powerful, and wise. Over time, she will demonstrate this trust by relaxing when you are near, coming to you with problems, and proudly pointing you out to others. Sometimes, she will also lean on you for protection from things that frighten her, including her own sensitivities. For example, in your presence she may try out new skills that she would never dare alone or with a stranger. She trusts you to keep her safe.

The Thrill of Discovery: Having a child gives you a unique chance to rediscover the pleasure and excitement of childhood. Although you cannot relive your life through your child, you can share in his delight as he explores the world. In the process, you probably will discover abilities and talents you never dreamed you possessed. Feelings of empathy mixed with growing self-awareness will help shape your ability to play and interact with your growing child. Discovering things together, whether they be new skills or words or ways to overcome obstacles, will add to your experience and confidence as a parent and will better prepare you for new challenges that you never even envisioned.

The Heights of Emotion: Through your child, you will experience new heights of joy, love, pride, and excitement. You probably also will experience anxiety, anger, and frustration. For all those delicious moments when you hold your baby close and feel her loving arms around your neck, there are bound to be times when you feel you cannot communicate. The extremes sometimes become sharper as your child gets older and seeks to establish her independence. The same child who at three gaily dances across the room with you may at four have a rebellious and active period that surprises you. The extremes are not contradictions, but simply a reality of growing up. For you as a parent, the challenge is to accept and appreciate all the feelings your child expresses himself and arouses in you, and to use them in giving him steady guidance. 

From: CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD birth to age 5 1991-1998