The Funny Story of not Mess with the Referee

Don’t Mess with the Referee!

Por: Shamir Galvá

The towns of Weston and Dustin had been bitter rivals for many years. Each year on the first of May, they used to meet in the annual soccer match on neutral ground between the two towns. Neither of the teams was used to losing—or winning, for that matter. The matches usually ended in a tie. Nobody can remember the last time either team won!

The last match was in 1990, and this is what happened. The score was tied at one goal each. The Weston team scored just as the referee called the end of the game. The angry players and supporters of the Weston team chased the referee from the field.

The referee was a fast runner, and dashed into a restaurant. But the owner of the restaurant was a Weston fan. He recognized the referee and threw him out.

The referee was used to dealing with angry teams, and he made a plan to get the last laugh. He called up the coach of the Weston team and pretended he was the owner of the restaurant. “You ought to bring your whole team over here,” he said. “I’d like to offer you a free meal.”

He then called the restaurant and said he was the coach of the Weston team.

“I’d like to bring my whole team over and buy them a meal,” he said.

Who do you think paid the bill at the end of the meal?  

From: SUCCESS Communicating in English Michael Walker ADDISON-WESLEY PUBLISHING COMPANY 1995

Basic Care for Children 6 Months to 1 Year

BASIC INFANT CARE

Por: Shamir Galvá

W

hen your baby first arrives, you may feel a bit over whelmed by the job of caring for her. Even such routine tasks as diapering and dressing her can fill you with anxiety—especially if you’ve never spent much time around babies before. But it doesn’t take long to develop the confidence and calm of an experienced parent, and you’ll have help. 

While you are in the hospital, the nursery staff and your pediatrician will give you instructions and support your needs. Later, family and friends can be helpful; don’t be bashful about asking for their assistance.

 But your baby will give you the most important information–how she likes to be treated, talked to, held, and comforted. She’ll bring out parental instincts that will guide you quite automatically to many of the right responses, almost as soon as she’s born.

The following sections address the most common questions and concerns that arise during the first months of life.

 From: CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD birth to age 5 1991-1998

The History: The Police False or Maniquies

Mistaken Identify

Por: Albert Shamir Galvá de Jesús

The chief of police in a small country town was not enjoying himself. Traffic was out of control. The police department was suffering from a severe shortage of manpower. Two of his officers had injured themselves in a car accident. Another officer had hurt herself when she tried to stop a runaway horse.

The chief and his deputy were sitting by themselves in the office. They were complaining about how much they had to do and how little money they had to do it with.

“I wake up every morning, look at myself in the mirror, ask myself how I am going to get through the day,” said the chief.

“Have you ever thought about hiring more officers?” suggested the deputy.

“You know we’re just fooling ourselves. We don’t have any money for more officers.”

At just that moment, the cleaning lady put her head in the door. “Why don’t you buy a tailor’s dummy?” she asked. The chief and his deputy looked at each other in amazement as they realized what a great idea it was!

They dressed the dummy in full police uniform, placed it behind the wheel of a spare patrol car, and left it by the roadside. All the speeding stopped. Motorists slammed on the brakes as soon as they saw the car with the cop in it.

Some motorists made real fools of themselves and even stopped to ask for directions!

From: SUCCESS Communicating in English Michael Walker ADDISON-WESLEY PUBLISHING COMPANY  1995